


Be the Death of Him

by CALira



Series: Be the Death of Him [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, Sweet, Worry, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 14:50:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6474646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CALira/pseuds/CALira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron and Eric being obnoxiously cute but have a fight over Aaron's excessive risk taking. Eric has a little incident with the town vulgarian and tells Aaron about his fears for them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Eric being obnoxiously cute, annoying Daryl. Aaron notices something and loses focus.

Early morning sunlight bowed through crystalline glass windows ribboning rainbow color over the two closely huddled men.

Aaron and Eric stood together in the front room of their shared home. Toe to toe, foreheads touching, they spoke quietly between themselves.

Copper red eyelashes partially obscured Eric's liquid chocolate eyes as he focused intently on the soft tangle of digits nestled warmly between his own lean frame and Aaron's hearty chest. Aaron, for his part, gently pulsed the elegantly fragile hands he clasped so tenderly in his deeply suntextured ones.

Chuckling in an intimately affectionate whisper, Eric played a long thumb over Aaron's hardened knuckles.

"Would you two hurry the hell up?" A quietly graveled voice interrupted, breaking the spell of the couple's reverie.

Foreheads still touching, they turned their mutual gaze toward the darkly greasy visage of their impatiently waiting friend, Daryl.

From his perch on the arm of a sofa, the restless walking scar tissue of a man shifted uncomfortably. Oblivious to the grinding of the butt of his ratty jeans into the immaculate brushed cotton fabric, he added,

"Knock it off a' ready."

With exaggeratedly bored defiance Aaron straightened his head and countered, "My home. My husband. I'll do what I want. Aaand I'll take as long as I want to get it done."

Still staring at the nonchalantly musclar Daryl in mock disdain, Aaron smiled wickedly and took one of Eric's lean hands in his own. He spun the smiling redhead atop the polished hardwood floor in a graceful ballroom twirl. Locking eyes with his partner, he lowered Eric into an elegant formal dip.

"Cara mia," Aaron spoke richly to the reclined love of his life so carefully cradled in his arms.

Eric breathed back, "Mon chere." He lost himself in the storm blue eyes hovering above his face.

Aaron gasped melodramatically, "Eric, you spoke French!" Smiling wantonly he kissed Eric's alabaster chest where collar bone met sternum at the unbuttoned shirt collar. The curly topped brunette's smile faltered as his eyes flashed with a strange grey light.

Collecting himself quickly, he donned his best charm-ball smile for his beloved Eric. They turned their heads in unison toward Daryl with matching smirks on their lips.

"Sheesh!" Daryl rolled his winter blue eyes and pushed himself up off the couch with his already-grimy-at-6:30-in-the-morning hands.

From his upside down view of the room, Eric noted the smudgy hand prints Daryl left in his wake and smiled in fond resignation. With a gentle sigh, he addressed their favorite soap eschewing hunter-tracker lightheartedly,

"You could always wait on the porch, Mr. Spoilsport Grumpypants." He tapped Aaron on the shoulder and gave the brunette a little nod.

Aaron chuffed in apology and lifted his scarlet gentleman upright. He wrapped his arms around the lean man from behind. Eric folded his arms across his waist, resting them lightly on Aaron's casually flexed forearms.

Daryl stared at the couple wordlessly. Ticking his carefully unkempt head of stringy black hair to one side, the rugged tracker shrugged a shoulder and walked away without a sound.

Finally alone, Aaron rested his textured cheek against Eric's smooth face and hugged him firmly. Releasing Eric reluctantly, Aaron turned his boyfriend around to face him.

Reaching for Eric's hijink-mussed shirt, Aaron lovingly adjusted the folded collar. Smoothing the crisp cotton fabric across the redhead's leanly muscled shoulders, he noticed the presence of more than one undershirt beneath the impeccably styled long sleeved shirt.

Distractedly tugging down on the smartly buttoned cuffs around Eric's knobby wrist, Aaron realized disturbingly that his loving husband never wore his shirtsleeves that way.

Confusion clouding his fog bright eyes, Aaron remained noncommittally silent. He splayed a calm and loving expression on his clean cut face before he hugged Eric to his chest tightly. Pulling back slowly from the embrace, Aaron ran his fingers idly down Eric's sides. The goal was brazen seduction but the outdoorsman brunette couldn't help but note the overly pronounced ribs he could feel through the many layers of fabric covering them.

Eric wiggled away from Aaron's caress with a shivery laugh and grinned,

"That tickles."

"I know," Aaron teased. Lust weighted lids draped over his quicksilver eyes successfully masking the troubled haze dulling their usual spark.

With a slight groan Eric huffed, "No fair! How am I suppossed to let you out that door if you start that now?"

He slinked his way over into Aaron's arms and landed his dampening palms on the soft plaid flannel covering his man's slightly heaving chest.

"Daryl will have to break in and drag you off."

Rubbing his taut cheek against Aaron's rugged jaw, he whispered,

"That's if he doesn't stroke out from embarrassment over what he'll walk in on."

He kissed Aaron sincerely before softly nipping the surprised curly top's genetically pouty bottom lip.

"I'll make it worth your while."

Aaron sucked in his bottom lip and licked it smooth...

"You always do."

They both grinned and leaned their foreheads together once again. Sighing heavily, Aaron took Eric by the hand,

"Come on, Lolita," and he led the way to the front door.

Once on the porch, they reluctantly drew their hands apart. They had decided as a couple long ago to consciously avoid intimate physical displays of any kind in public. The idea didn't particularly sit well with either of them, but they did it anyway.

Each man had his own specific reason to begrudgingly comply wih this mutual decision to hide that aspect of themselves from public view. Aaron desperately wanted to protect Eric from the scorn of the easily provoked homophobic hate mongers that were peppered liberally among their neighbors and fellow citizens. Eric wanted nothing more than to protect Aaron from the huge emotional burden he carried within himself. Everything he did was to ensure that his brunette paladin worry about as little as possible, especially him.

Neither one of them was a stranger to having to defend themselves from ignorant violence. That wasn't the issue. Aaron had an obsessive instinct to help people and that impulse was magnified a hundred fold where Eric was concerned. He was extremely over protective of his cherished partner and absolutely refused to let him anywhere near what even just resembled harm's way.

It used to be simple. Aaron just always kept Eric by his side, even taking the lanky redhead with him when the community needed someone to go beyond the fortified walls. But now, Eric was outfitted with a medical boot around a still healing left ankle and his mobility was compromised. Yet, there were vitaly essential supply runs to do for the town.

The conflicting circumstances left Aaron with no choice. He had to go outside the walls and Eric just couldn't go with him anymore. That meant having to leave Eric alone in the potentially unsafe Safe Zone of Alexandria.

Aaron carried with him a deep sense of guilt over what he considered abandoning Eric to his fate, even if it was just for a few days. He tended to overcompensate by doting mindlessly on his man.

As they began their descent of the porch stairs, Aaron reached for Eric's arm like a boy scout trying to earn his badge for helping the frail and elderly across the street. That move put him on the receiving end of a nasty glare and his hand slapped away for good measure.

Smiling genially, Aaron held his hands up in an exaggerated gesture of peace. Still, he took the stairs one at a time immediately behind his foot clomping boyfriend, just in case.

Successfully touching down on the sidewalk at the bottom of the stairs, Eric grunted triumphantly and grinned at Aaron with a condescending little air. They both smiled and headed over to the waiting car next to a cigarette huffing Daryl.

Catching site of the couple, the surly smoker grumbled,

"About damn time."

Since he couldn't stop him if he tried, Aaron let Eric help them finish loading the trunk of the car. He told himself it was okay because they were mostly packing empty bags, a small box of extra ammo, some food and a pack of water bottles.

Aaron made sure not to openly stare at his scarlet love, but he found himself needing to steal glimpses of Eric when the man wasn't looking. Under knitted brows, his clever eyes focused in contemplation. He tried his best to make sure Eric didn't catch him staring, but that man of his saw everything.

When he was inevitably caught watching, Aaron threw Eric a sly smile and a quick little eyebrow dance. The redhead smiled back coyly with a wink and returned his attention to the task before him. Aaron was greatly relieved that the ploy worked. It was growing increasingly more difficult for him to disguise the gathering storm clouds of doubt on his face.

Aaron watched with heavy eyes as Eric disappeared behind the corrugated steel gates in the rear view mirror. Weathered brow deeply furrowed, he drove on completely lost in thought behind Daryl riding point on his Frankensteined motorcycle.

A couple of miles later, Daryl came to a sudden stop in the middle of the dusty county road. Aaron looked up just in time to see the agile huntsman dive out of the way of his heavy steel rust bucket bearing down on him. Turning the steering wheel hard in the opposite direction, Aaron managed to swerve the car safely onto the side of the road.

Daryl's running figure burst through the settling plume of dirt and grass debris and over to the driver's side of the car. Aaron sat there, hands glued to the wheel, breathing hard and staring out the front windshield. Seeing the state his run partner was in, Daryl quietly rumbled,

"You a'right?"

Fully dilated blue grey eyes turned to look at Daryl in confusion. A silent nod of his headful of immovable curls was all the brunette seemed able to manage in response.

"What the hell was 'at!" Daryl grumbled loudly.

Snapping out of his detached fugue, Aaron responded heatedly,

"You stopped!" Continuing sternly he added,

"Why did you stop like that!?"

"'Cause you were driftin' all over the road, you pain in the ass!"

Still quietly angry, Daryl threw a command at Aaron,

"Get yerr damn head back in the game!"

Aaron's focus drifted away again as his gaze fell into the car's side mirror. In a distant voice he asked softly,

"You think we can wrap this up quick today?"

Daryl leaned against the car and snorted,

"Ya missin' him a'ready?!"

Empty mist blue eyes looked plainly into Daryl's unshaven face,

"Something's not right."

Daryl squinted at him silently for a minute. He got it. Sometimes you just knew. He nodded at Aaron and they hurriedly got back on the road with plans to return earlier than originally intended.

Aaron forced all other thoughts from his mind and drove on trying to remain focused entirely on the motorcycle's brake lights. Yet, all the while, a small voiced continued to chant incessantly in the back of his mind,

' _Something is very wrong._ '


	2. Safer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron confronts Eric. Eric questions Aaron. Fearful anger causes ugly words and insults. Relationship détente is achieved.

The key turned freely in the lock and Aaron frowned. The door hadn't been locked.

His jaw muscles spasmed as his eyes narrowed to slits.

' _He knows better than this_ ,' the sturdy brunette fumed to himself.

It was three in the morning and his partner Eric should be home, safely asleep in their shared bed. Behind a   _locked_  front door.

Aaron's neck burned a deep red,

' _This isn't Mayberry, dammmit. It's the freaking apocalypse_.'

Aaron and Eric both knew first hand what life at the end of the world was really like. They had lived & worked in the thick of it together. His husband was many things, but naive wasn't one of them.

' _No_ ' his forehead furrowed, _'Eric **does** know better_.'

Aaron's keen eyes darted blindly following the imagination driven picture show in his mind. Frigid sweat beaded on his skin,

' _Eric **wouldn't** leave the door unlocked. Especially not while I'm away_ ' he thought silently. The blue gray irisis almost disappeared from his eyes as his pupils dilated violently,

'... _unless it wasn't his idea._ '

Quickly retrieving his key, Aaron shrugged his backpack silently onto the wooden planks of the porch before cautiously turning the door knob. Inside his home, the air was thick and inky black like warm tar oozing along a driveway. His breath caught in his painfully arid throat.

Heartbeat accelerating quickly, he soundlessly drew his .38 from the holster at his waist and stealthily pushed the well oiled door open. Too many things had breached the town walls lately. You couldn't be too careful anymore.

Quietly padding along the carpet runner in the entrace hall, he made his way to the living room where he suddenly stopped short. There was something lumpy on the couch. He forgot how to blink as he watched the lump rise and fall ever so slightly. Something was breathing.

' _Not the best job of camouflage for an ambush_ ,' Aaron noted to himself.

' _Still_...', he shrugged his head. Stalking closer to the couch, he took up a position just beyond arm's reach of the clumsily blanketed figure. He calmly shattered the silence with a curt deep toned challenge, "Hey!"

The blanket exploded off the couch and the fully uncloaked figure suddenly stood before Aaron. Lean and pale, the male figure brandished a 9 mm pistol and the two faced off silently, guns unwavering and poised ready to deliver mutual head shots.

They stood unmoving staring at each other as recogntion slowly drained the adrenalin from their bodies. Suddenly, Eric let out a loud breath. He lowered his gun and sighed,

"Hey, Aaron."

The lanky redhead leisurely returned his gun to its belt holster and clipped the Sig into place. Stretching his long neck to each side alternatively forced trapped air from his cervical joints with a small pop. He yawned,

"What are you doing back so soon?"

He turned a softly lopsided smile toward his curly haired mate,

"Besides scaring the crap out of me?” He asked in sweet amusement.

Aaron trembled visibly from shorn curls to dusty hiking boots. Gesturing wildly around the room with both hands and accompanying gun, he yelled in a strangled voice,

"What the hell, Eric?!"

Eric jumped like a nubile coed in a house of horror. Breathing in short gasps, his brown eyes owl round, he spoke in a hurriedly low but steady voice,  
  
"Whoa. Honey, honey, calm down." He gently pushed at the air between them with the palms of his pale outstretched hands. Continuing calmly in a soothing voice, he pronounced each word softly and carefully,

"What's. Wrong."

Suddenly inhaling sharply, the redhead froze.

"Ohmygod! Did something happen? OHMYGOD!! Are you okay!?"

"I'm fine!" Aaron gestured widely at Eric, carelessly waving the gun directly at his boyfriend.

Eric dodged out of the way on pure instinct and rambled,

"Oh hey... yeah. Uh, let's put that gun away."

Still bobbing and weaving, he approached Aaron slowly. With a light touch he gently claimed the gun from his mate's flailing right hand. Turning to set it on a side table, Eric turned back just as Aaron lunged for him.

The stocky brunette grabbed Eric's upper arms tightly and all but shook the grimacing redhead. His voice cracking, he shouted,

"What are you doing sleeping down here! ...and why wasn't that door locked?!"

Eric set his jaw tightly, narrowed his eyes and asked quietly,

"Why are you shouting at me?" He stared at Aaron from under knit brows and squirmed uncomfortably in the vise like grip of his beloved husband's heavily veined and work hardened hands.

Aaron scowled,

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

Eric's cocoa brown eyes opened wide. He forcibly ripped his arms out of Aaron's grip,

"Am  _I_ trying to..." his uncharacteristically raised voice stopped abruptly as he tightly slammed his lips shut. Turning his face down and away, he lightly rubbed his arms in silence.

Voice still harboring a harassing edge, Aaron shot out,

"What! What is it?!"

Suddenly his eyes clicked into focus and it finally registered in his mind what Eric was doing with his arms and why. The stocky outdoorsman's anger deflated and fell in on itself,

"Oh. No, no, no," he whispered breathlessly.

"I'm so sorry", he added as he hugged Eric gently to his chest.

Aaron pulled back slightly and took Eric lightly by the hands. With tears brimming his smoke blue eyes, he softly kissed the redhead's wide pale lips.

Pressing the leanly sinewed hands into the space over his heart, he cast his eyes downward,

"I never thought I'd... ever... hurt you." His voice caught in his throat,

Shaking his head mechanically, Aaron added in a cracked voice,

"I don't know how you ever can, but..." he lifted his tear stained face and begged,

"Please forgive me."

Eric's heart broke. He smiled sadly and leaned toward the brunette. As his own eyes moistened, Eric pressed his lean cheek onto the close shorn curls on the top of his love's head. "Oh, Babe. Of course. I will forgive you for anything and everything."

He reclaimed his hands from Aaron's warm grasp and lightly cradled the sides of his man's neck. Locking his big wet brown eyes with Aaron's sad mist colored ones, he spoke reassuringly,

"but it isn't necessary. You didn't do anything that needs forgiving."

Eric pushed the tips of his long fingers into Aaron's tightly flexed neck muscles.

"This was nothing. I'm okay. Please, don't do this to yourself."

Eric reached shaking hands to wipe the tears from Aaron's tanned cheeks,

"It was all my fault. I was stupid to forget the lock. I'm sorry I scared you."

"No. It' me. My fau..."  
  
Eric stopped the flow of Aaron's pained words with a deep kiss that went on for several heartbeats. Breaking away he touched his angular nose to Aaron's round ended one. The redhead whispered with conviction,

"No one's fault then. Just another fun filled night in the apocalypse."

He cupped Aaron's rugged jaw in one soft white hand, "Okay?"

The brunette nodded weakly but finally donned a faint smile.  
He lay his roughened hands lightly on Eric's forearms and rubbed the soft cloth over the smooth white skin.

"Hey," Aaron perked up unexpectedly and lifted his eyebrows. He held Eric gently by the waist and scanned the warm plaid flannel hanging loosely from his boyfriend's tight lean shoulders. He smiled sweetly at the man with his silver eyes twinkling,

"Is this my shirt?"

Crimson cheeked, Eric defensively pulled away and wrapped his arms around himself protectively. With a small pouty frown he muttered,

"It helps me sleep."

Lowering his elegant cheek onto the heavy cotton fabric over a forearm, he added wistfully,

"It's soft and warm."

He buried his nose in the cloth of the sleeve and inhaled deeply. "And it smells good," he sighed.

With a sweet smile, the redhead closed his eyes and pulled his arms tighter around his lean frame. He whispered, virtually to himself,

“If I close my eyes, it's almost like..."

His voice faded as his smile fell. His chocolate syrup eyes opened slowly and he pressed his closed lips into the shirt cuff nearest his face.

Aaron ticked his head to the side and asked hesitantly,

"Is that... why you're here on the couch and not upstairs in the bedroom?"

Eric unwrapped himself and wandered unsteadily to the couch. Sighing deeply, he lowered himself onto the overstuffed cushions slowly and with prim precision. He immediately focused his rapt attention on fiddling with the lay of the ill fitting shirt. He made a big production out of adjusting his position to accomodate the cloth garment that suddenly seemed more like a shroud as it pooled in a draping fold onto his lap.

Aaron stood quietly and patiently continued to watched Eric trying to avoid answering the question hanging in the air like a sword on a string.

Eric could feel the smoke blue eyes burrowing into him. Still, he stared down at his sock covered feet silently and wiggled the toes sticking out from the medical boot around his healing ankle. Without looking up, he stated airily,

"I just didn't want to sleep upstairs, that's all." His slightly sunken cheeks tweaked pink as he fought off a frown and mumbled,

“Too cold.”

"Oh, Baby" Aaron's eyes were stained with liquid pain as he dropped onto the sofa and leaned toward the unhappy redhead. But he stopped short when something hard and unyielding grazed his thigh. Reaching down between the sofa cushions, Aaron pulled free a flat piece of metal.

Turning the object over in his hands, Aaron's brow furrowed. He immediately recognized the state license plate from their growing collection. He looked up at the empty space on the decorative wall display of colorful metal rectangles. Turning to face Eric, the confused brunette asked calmly,

"What's this doing here?" The sun worn skin around his steel blue eyes contracted suddenly. He drew a sudden breath and asked in a kind voice,

"Were you holding this all night?"

Eric silently took the plate from Aaron's hands. Holding the thin metal state relic on his lap, he ran his fingertips over the painted surface. He traced over each of the large embossed letters and numbers as he reminisced in a vague tone,

"Georgia." His lips curled up slightly at the corners.

"The first one," he sighed.

Eyes locked on the movement of his hand over the cheery painted peach on the plate, he added,

"We started collecting them because they reminded you of before. Of a living world. Of people and families..."

A single shuddering breath pulled him out of his wistful trance. He stood and stubbornly limped over to the Great Wall of Plates, gently replacing the plate in its stoicly awaiting space. Dropping his shoulders, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply,

"Back when that was still enough."

Aaron was suddenly standing behind him. He asked flatly, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Eric turned slowly to face the man to whom he had committed his life. Pale lips pressed into a flat line, the redhead swallowed and answered gravely, "Before you needed to try and sacrifice yourself for everyone in penance for some imagined sins and unfounded guilt."

Aaron's eyes flared wide. Lengthening his spine, he said defensively, "I'm trying to _save_  lives."  
  
"At the expense of your own?" Eric's voice was calm and his demeanor annoyingly rational.

Aaron really hated trying to argue with Eric. The man got calmer when Aaron started screaming. The brunette adopted a stoic facade and dug himself deeper into his bunker of indignation "If I'm going to die I'd rather do it while helping someone instead of just because I did something stupid..."

"Like getting stuck under a car?" Eric crossed long arms across his narrow chest and stared at Aaron with burning eyes.

Indicating the red head with a sun baked finger, Aaron shook his head subconsciously. "I didn't say that."

"No. You didn't." Eric answered in a tight voice. He stood stiff and cold like steel, his jaw muscles working soundlessly over several rapidly increasing heartbeats. Without warning, his posture melted. He relocated his hands from under his arms up onto his own shoulders and slowly paced away.

Aaron stood silenty, his breathing ragged and shallow as his rounded eyes followed the limping form. He wondered to himsef if I was too late for an apology to seem sincere. He held back from trying because he was unsure how Eric would react. In reality he had absolutely no idea what his husband contemplated so deeply.

The clunk of every other foot fall was the only audible sound in the room. Eric's steady cadence marked the agonizingly slow passage of time since he last spoke. His puppy brown eyes scouted his path on the floor before him as he absently slid his sinewy hands along his shoulders and neck. Finally, still pacing slowly, he began in a distant ethereal voice,

"You know, I've always thought we were full partners. A team. A family."

He suddenly stopped and stood stock stil. Looking Aaron directly in the eyes his voice was thick, "But now, if it came down to a choice between me or anyone else..."

He pulled his eyes away sadly, "I don't honestly know which you'd choose anymore."

Aaron was thunderstruck. He whispered,  
"How can you think that?"

He slowly took the two steps over to Eric and reached for him gently. Unfolding the lean arms, he held the pale familiar hands in his own and continued, "You. Always, only, ever, you."

He looked down and stammered,  
  
"But..I... can't just ignore other people." He shook his brown lambswool head.

Eric quickly pulled his hands away from Aaron's clasp. Curling his fingers into his palm he tucked the loose fists up against his chest. He surprised Aaron with a shouted,

"I'm not asking you to!"

Seeing Aaron frozen stil, slack jawed with his eyes only thin rings of the beautiful blue gray iris, Eric loered his eyelids and took a deep breath. Pinching the bridge of nose, he continued at a lower volume,

"You're too important to these people and their survival." He focused a soulful gaze on Aaron,

"They need you and I would _never_  ask you to stop helping them."

Voice fully calm and rational once again, the redhead sighed,

"But why do you have to die to do it?"

Aaron's shoulders tensed. With knit brows, his answer was steady yet stern,

"I won't let anymore people die because I'm being selfish."

Eric's copper eyebrows shot up on his forehead,

"Selfish?"

Warm brown eyes suddenly iced over, Eric continued flatly,

"You mean, like me?"

Aaron's shoulders hunched forward involuntarily as he squirmed in discomfort. Large blue grey eyes pingponged in their sockets as he searched for the right words to use. Before he had the chance to offer the apology, Eric yelled  
  
"Damn right I'm selfish - I want you alive!

The pale man's voice cracked. "I can't stand seeing you suffer. Why do you think I work so hard to put myself between you and your self imposed guilt over the dozens of things you _imagine_  are your fault."

As tears built up on his lower eyelids, he shook his head sadly.

"...and what do you do? Sneak off behind my back without a thought and try to get yourself killed. "

Eric's eyes widened unnaturally. His fingers suddenly covered his mouth.

"Oh, god. Is it even worse than that? Do you actually think about it and just decide that everyone else is more important than us?"

The muscles on Aaron's jaw flexed. He knew Eric was right. He was so driven to help other people that he took his partner for granted. The man he had vowed to love, honor and cherish. The man he chose to spend his life with. The man he would gladly die protecting.

Aaron admitted to himself that he _didn't_ think about his life with Eric before he leapt at any chance to risk his own life helping people. He never gave it a second thought, not even when someone asked "What about, Eric?".

He felt so guilty when he failed the town, but he never looked at how often he failed Eric. The realization drove him past guilt and shame directly into self hatred. The knowledge that Eric knew it all along and that he let it happen anyway to protect Aaron's feelings was a slash to his heart with a broken blade. The pain was too much to bear and he lashed out,

"You want me to only think about you! You need attention that bad?! Is that why your starving yourself?!"

One giant step put Aaron close enough to Eric to pull up his shirt, exposing the gleaming white torso to the light. Eric was always lean but now his pale body was striped with dark shadows cast by his highly pronounced rib cage. The sternum was clearly outlined where the skin had sunken around the edges. Even his clavicles were thrown into such sharp relief that they seemed to float unattached above his chest.

"Hey!" Eric snatched the shirt away from Aaron's trembling hands.

Aaron's staring storm blue eyes turned hurricane grey as he gasped softly,

" _That_  is much worse than I suspected. Than I could ever imagine."

He lifted his ashen face to look into Eric's eyes. In just above a whisper, he asked,

"Are you even eating?"

His eyes shined wetly as he continued,

"Why are you doing this?" He swallowed audibly, remembering aloud,

"You had on three undershirts this morning. You were trying to hide this from me?

The redhead grumbled miserably, "I get cold."

Clutching the shirt to his waist, Eric's voice dropped half an octave and he added,

"I wasn't trying to hide anything. I didn't have to, you never noticed."

The brunette stopped short, not speaking for several breaths. His eyes dimmed. In a quiet distant voice, he conceded, "You're right."

Eyes rapidly scanning his memory he spoke to himself,

"How did I   _not_ notice?"

He looked out at Eric through a confused haze.

"I mean, I sleep right next to you. I've held you in my arms. We've... been intimate, for chrissake."

His skin reddened as he turned his face away. "How did I miss this?"

"You know how." Eric's answer was without emotion.

Aaron tilted his head and looked at the redhead quizzically, through innocent staring eyes.

Words spewed out of Eric's control.

"All you think about anymore is them and what you can do for them. You're too ashamed to even look me in the face when you think you've failed them. Like I'm not on your side or I don't have your back."

The words gained momentum before slamming hard into a wall.

"It's bad enough that you shut me out of town business. As if now that I can't help you with your humanitarian agenda I'm of no use to you. But now you act like you just want to leave me behind completely."

"Youre trying to blame _me_. It's _my_  fault you're trying to kill yourself?"

"No, and can you just please put your guilt reflex away for once. It's more than I can take right now."

"So what then! Youre trying to punish me? Your starving yourself to hurt me? Ruin my concentration out there with worry, so I will stay home and babysit you!"

Eric glared at Aaron and said loudly,

"Get over yourself, you raging egomaniac!"

The redhead exhaled a jagged breath. In a lowered voice that bleed from a bitter edge, he continued,

"I've tried to eat and I just can't."

Averting his forest brown eyes he said softly,

"Whenever I can get past the smell, I can't keep any of it down."

Aaron drew in a gasping breath and said in a desperate rush of words,

"Are you sick?!"

He held his large hands alternatively to Eric's high forehead and porcelain cheeks.

Eric gently removed Aaron's sun etched hands from his face.

"No."

Squeezing Aaron's hands lightly before releasing them, he continued in a soft voice,

"Not like you mean."

The brunette boy-next-door smiled awkwardly. Mischief twinkled in his gem like eyes. In a light voice he asked the slim redhead,

"Are you trying to tell me that you're pregnant?"

Eric burst out laughing. By the time Aaron joined in, they were both smiling broadly. Everything was finally alright, just like life in the eye of a hurricane.

Aaron reached for both of Eric's hands, kissing them sweetly before snuggling them to his chest. "Eric honey, I would  _never_  choose anyone over you. I do what I do for them because I owe them... _for_  you. "

"But not your life." Eric's cheeks reddened as he lowered his gaze.

"I'm the one that owes them that."

Aaron grinned. "Well, yeah. But what can _you_ do for them?" he chuckled lightly.

Eric retrieved his hands briskly from Aaron to let them hang dead by his sides. He stood there without a sound and stared narrow eyed at his mate. Each breath tightly controlled, the redhead's pale face burned dark maroon.

Aaron cringed when he realizd what he had just said to his kind, loving and highly competent partner. "No, no. I didn't mea...

Eric simply closed his eyes and raised a palm to stop Aaron's rush of words. One sharp breath and curt exhale later, he opened his deep brown eyes and wore yet again that disturbingly calm and reasonable mantle that Aaron dreaded.

Eric smiled peacefully. "Okay then. You do whatever you want."

Roughly yanking the still buttoned flannel caftan up over his head, his voice darkened.

"...and when you get yourself killed for them,"

He aggressively wadded up the plaid garment into a tight ball. Hurling the bundle mightily at Aaron's head, he shouted,

"...make sure they bury you in this!"

Eric clomped to the front door and snatched his jacket off the hall closet's door. He punched his arms into the jacket and blindly hit his chin with his knuckles as he zipped up. Scowling, he grabbed one of his galoshes and threw open the front door.

Aaron untangled his face from the shirt and rushed after the fuming redhead.

"Eric, baby. Don't be this way, please."

He ran out the door and nearly plowed into Eric as he sat huched over on the chilled wooden stairs. The lean man grunted and huffed as he pulled the shiny blue wellie over his non booted foot.

Aaron squatted next to him and tried to apologize. "Eric. I'm so so sorry" he began in a strained voice. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it." Eric closed the snaps on his rubber bootie and ignored Aaron's pleas.

The brunette reached for his silent husband but pulled his arms back before they got very far into the space between them. They always had to be so careful with PDAs on the porch. It made town life easier but left him longing to feel Eric's lean frame against his own meatier one. With a resigned sigh he asked gently,

"What are you doing?"

Eric tugged his pant cuff down briskly and spat out,

"I'm taking my stupid, selfish and useless ass for a walk".

He stood without looking at the man next to him.

"I need some air." He stepped down onto the top stair and saw Aaron rise to follow him. He spun on the hapless brunette,

"No. It's my turn to walk off and leave you behind without a thought."

He stomped down the stairs, grimacing on every other step, but stubbornly adamant to complete his exit with some modecum of dignity. Which made it all the more curious when he abruptly stopped on the penultimate stair. Aaron scrambled down quickly to stand next to him.

Eric didn't turn around to look at the man. Instead he stared down at the sidewalk. "I know you're only doing what's right. And that you don't mean to hurt me."

A deep breath lifted his face. He stared out at the icy street shining in the dawning light. "You've put so much stress on yourself, it scares me."

He sighed. "But, I'm here and I'll support you in anything you do. I'm with you...

He turned to face Aaron with a weary smile "...always."

A shallow sigh led into a breathy "I do love you."

His pale face softened as he grinned, "...but I still need that air to clear my head."

Forcing a soft light back into his eyes, he continued reassuringly, "I'll be right back".

The tiniest upward tick of the corners of his mouth eased Aaron's heart. Eric said sweetly, "Don't worry."  
  
With the gentlest of manly punches to Aaron's broad shoulder, Eric descended the last  stair. He limped off down the street, his hands buried deeply in his pockets against the chill in the winter air and his mind lost even deeper in thought.

Aaron fought the urge to tackle his coppery love and carry him caveman style back over the threshold of their home. But, he knew what is was like to need time to purge lingering demons from your mind. Staring after Eric, Aaron anxiously tapped his gathered fingertips together to have something to do with his hands.

He thought to himself, ' _All I ever do is worry. How couldn't I, when I love him so much?' How can I make him understand that he's safer when he doesn't go with me to help people_?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene with Aaron & Eric in episode 511 is why I write these stories.
> 
> At the end if that scene Eric protectively hugs to his chest the licence plate he gifted Aaron. I found that to be so adorable and touching that I wanted to play with the meaning.
> 
> The rest of the story is my attempt to figure out why Aaron would rather die helping other people than being with the man he so loves.
> 
> Also I wondered if Aaron was too wrapped up in helping save other lives to notice that his partner's health was in decline.


	3. WTF!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric runs into trouble while taking a walk.

A solitary figure limped down the icy main street in the heavily fortified town of Alexandria. Eric shoved his hands deeper into his jacket pockets. The snow laden predawn air snapped at his overly lean frame and he now fully regretted his decision to storm out of the house without a scarf ...or a shirt. He bowed his head against the chill wind and continued walking, thoroughly lost in thought.

' _A fight. A frickin' fight! What's wrong with me?_ ' The only thing in the world he _ever_ wanted was to take care of his boyfriend and make him happy. Even in the festering pit of decay that the world had become, he still tried his damnest to keep his Aaron from pain.

' _How could I bring up any of that crap?_ ' His heart couldn't bear the way his man tortured himself with unfounded feelings of guilt. Eric usually kept his fears and sadness to himself in favor of easing Aaron's life. Losing control and fighting about it did nothing but create pain, confusion and ironically, real fully-justified guilt.

' _Why can't I just keep my..._ '

"...faggot mouth shut?!" A harsh voice suddenly burst through his reverie, vulgarly interrupting his self condemnation.

The speaker was Griere, the town jackass. The giant shaggy animal of a man was ranting about something pointless, as usual.

"Why the shit do you two queers always make so much fucking noise? Woke me the hell up with you bitching like whores at each other."

Turning to look behind him, Eric craned his neck up to look directly at the scowling dirty blond lifter-of-heavy-things and next door neighbor. He grunted in distracted recognition, "Uhn. Mornin' Griere." He nodded. "What's that?"  
  
"The noise. That damn screeching what just come from your place. Here I thought it were hell having to hear that godawful squealing coming over that fence when your butt buddy's in town. Now I gotta hear this shit too?"

His swamp water green eyes narrowed, "How the hell do you make so much damn noise screwing each other, anyway?"

"Uh? Oh. Yeah, I guess" the redhead's attention drifted away from the crass and amateur level baiting. Descending back into the mire of dissecting the earlier fight with his husband, Eric turned away from Griere with a distractedly muttered, "See ya later."

He limped down the street once again, but didn't get far. After three stilted steps, a hard hit to the back of his bad leg toppled him forward.

Hands caught in his pockets, Eric face planted full force onto the frozen street. He grunted as he freed his hands and pushed himself up and over to sit uncomfortably on the icy hardtack. Rubbing his left leg above the support boot with his hands, he looked up into Griere's smugly sneering face.

Several small pockets of blood dotted Eric's elegant face like malignant scarlet freckles. Brilliant red droplets beaded the parallel lines of his road rashed forehead. Thick, dark blood oozed slowly from his nose and his bottom lip had a plain old red jagged wet line where it had been slashed open by his own teeth. Wiping at the mobile flow of blood from his nose with his long narrow hand, he scoffed,

"Did you really just trip me? What are you? Eight?"

Griere responded in what, for him, passed as a reasonable voice, "It's what you had coming. I were talking to you and you up and walk off. Just damn rude."

He, for all practical purposes, smiled. "Don't your kind suppose to care about manners and shit?"

Eric's eyebrows lifted but, through great effort, he managed to resist rolling his eyes. He did however roll onto his side to push himself up off the ground onto his good foot. Accommodating the clunky medical support boot on his other leg inadvertantly placed his backside in an awkward and vulnerable position directly pointed toward the foul mouthed bully.

Griere grabbed Eric's ass hard. Thick fingers hooked low on the curve bordering just this side of penetration. Eric spun around, "Back off, Griere!" he growled.

"Just tryinta figure what you got that makes it worth tapping so damned often. I get it. You got a good ass. A bitch's ass. No wonder that deviant momma's boy of yours likes to stick his dirty dick up..."

Erict tackled Griere at the thick knees and knocked their support out from under the behemoth. Griere landed hard enough to bounce his head off the icy pavement.

A red on white blur of motion, Eric was on him. The lanky yet densly muscled redhead knelt on Griere's flailing arms. He held the brute down with a surprisingly strong grip clamped tightly on the stout throat. His other deceptively delicate hand was clenched into a rock hard fist that met the man's face over and over and over.

Eric didn't speak a word. He didn't breathe hard. He didn't even have a detectable emotion of his face. The only testimony to his actions was the the squish of tearing flesh and the crunch of breaking bone. Sounds that played out over the low background noise of Griere trying to yell profanities through the blood gurgling in his mouth.

At least three pairs of hands pulled on Eric's tightly flexed shoulders. The most desperate of which were Aaron's. He had been following Eric at a distance like some crazed stalker.

Everything had happened so quickly that the hardy brunette hadn't had time to go to Eric's aid when Griere had attacked him. But, he was with his man now and no one was going to hurt him again. He didn't even want anyone else to touch him.

It had to be Aaron's hands to stop Eric from beating Griere until the bigot no longer breathed. Not those of people that didn't love him and might stop him harder than was necessary. It didn't really matter to Eric, he didn't feel a thing.

He did, however, begin to hear faint voices growing steadily louder and closer. He suddenly heard Aaron's voice break through the fog of useless noises and words. He recognized his name in Aaron's panicked high pitched and rushed voice. The redhead stopped mid-strike and looked across at Aaron who sat on his muscular haunches directly next to him.

Eric's bloody fist with its raw knuckles was parked next to his throat. His eyes were brightly shining as he smiled calmly at Aaron. He raised his eyebrows and asked in a clear voice, "Hmm?"

Aaron took Eric gently by the chin. "You need to stop," he said softly.

Eric smiled sweetly and chimed, "Okay."

The copper top looked down at Griere with a stunningly neutral expression on his gaunt face. He released the huge sack of agony's throat and grabbed his jaw tightly with one hand. Laser intense coffee brown eyes sautered the lesson into the dirty blond's memory. Eric smirked and tossed the jaw aside dismissively. Nodding once he rose casually to stand over the cowed bloody jerk beneath him.

"What the hell just happened!?" The town constable yelled, his graying seven o'clock shadow unable to conceal his tensed jaw muscles.

Eric looked at the casually uniformed lawman with his natural expression of kind eyes and gentle grin. Aaron stood close by his side, all tight jaw and glaring eyes.

"Was just apologizing. Apparently, I was rude," Eric responded sincerely. He turned to Aaron with a beguiling smile and without a drop of sarcasm said,

"They'll need your help getting him to the infirmary."

"No. You get him home. We'll take Greire." Rick nodded at his deputy, Michonne and together they tried to help the unsteady hulking man up off the ground. Two of the burlier members of the gathered crowd had to be enlisted to help, but the broken faced brute was finally lifted onto his feet.

Eric simply shrugged and said, "Alrighty."

Silent and tightly coiled, Aaron took his hubby by the pointy elbow and guided him protectively toward their home.

Once inside the house, Aaron closed the front door with shaking hands. He engaged the lock while saying soothing words at Eric. When his partner didn't speak, the rugged outdoorsman turned to face empty air. His eyes flit around for a split second before he looked down.

Eric sat on the floor, his eyes closed and his head leaned back against the wall next to the door. His long legs stretched out before him loosely. His arms lay slack by his sides, bloody knuckles facing upward. He may as well have been a broken doll.  
  
Aaron dropped onto his knees next to Eric's side.

"Oh God, you're hurt!" he exhaled.

Taking the lean blood covered right hand in his own still trembling ones, he turned it over and back repeatedly, inspecting all angles for blood.

Eric's thin wide lips were the only part of him that moved as he said to the ceiling,

"Not mine."

Aaron hastily pulled the bottom of his shirt from beneath his belt. Wetting the fabric with his tongue, he used the tails of the brown plaid flannel du jour to rub the caking blood from Eric's hands.

An expressionless Eric, rolled his face toward his kneeling boyfriend.

"This isn't going to end well," he said with a song singing lilt.

A single round tear spilled from the corner of his dark eye.

Aaron continued his Mommy cleansing of Eric's hands, and let out a vague,

"What won't?"  
  
"Us. Them. Alexandria. All of it." He rolled his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Things keep getting worse. It's one thing to fight to stay alive. But now we're going out looking for trouble. Inviting it home."

He suddenly pulled away from the wall and seated himself facing Aaron. Bad leg folded under good knee, Eric placed a hand on the man's stout forearm.

"Let's leave.  Go back to being just you and me again."

Aaron looked down, away from Eric's sweetly sad and sincere face. Shaking his head awkwardly, he stammered,

"Eric, I... I can't."

Then the lean redhead also lowered his eye. He sighed,

"I know. That's what makes it so bad."

He shifted back into his original position against the wall. Eyes once again closed, he continued,

"They need you so much. All I have is that I love you."

Eric shrugged his taut shoulders. He opened his eyes to watch the fingers of his left hand as they traced invisible patterns on the floor. He spoke emptily,

"You can't leave them. I won't leave you." Eric looked at him sadly,

"Something is going to give. I can feel it."

"You're just tired and aren't thinking right. It'll all be okay." Aaron knee scooted closer to his hurting husband and pulled him into a bear hug. Well, a bear cub hug.

"C'mon. Let's not talk about this anymore." He rocked the pale man gently in his arms.

"Just sit here with me and let me hold you."

Eric rested his drooping head high on Aaron's chest. The feel of his stocky love's sun bitten cheek rubbing gently against his silken cherry hair was almost hypnotic. His bewitched voice was ethereal.

"You know, people have always hated me because of who I loved. But, that was okay because I found you."

He adjusted his seating to settle deeper into Aaron's arms. He continued wearily,

"People have always tried to kill us because of who we were helping. That was okay too, because I had you."

Eric wrapped his arms around Aaron's waist and pulled himself hard against the man's solid body.

"Then the world went to hell, and I could face it because I still had you." Tears thickened his voice.

"And now, the world is still rotting and suddenlly I'm afraid because now...

His voice gurgled, "... _they_  have you."

Aaron gasped, "What? No. I'm right here. Sitting right here with you. I love you."

"Oh baby, I know you love me", Eric said with a weak but loving smile as he stroked Aaron's densely muscled forearm with a moist, very clean, hand.

"But, they _need_  you. That gives you purpose again. I can't help you now because I'm still broken. The only thing I can offer anymore is that I love you and that just doesn't seem to be enough in this new dying world. I can't stop feeling like I'm going to lose you."

"Stop. Please stop." Aaron rocked him again. "You break my heart when you talk like this"

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to. I just love you so much. I don't want to be without you."

"You won't. You aren't. I'm right here." He squeezed the red head harder. Tears fell freely from his fog bright eyes.

Eric felt the hot liquid droplets drip onto his face. He quickly pulled out of their embrace and cradled both hands around Aaron's salt stained face.

"No don't, please. Everything is alright. Please."

Eric's long thumbs wiped away the damp white residue from Aaron's cheeks. Smiling gently, he reassured the brunette.

"You're right. I'm just tired. I don't even know what I'm talking about. WTF, right?"

Aaron finally smiled and the two men kissed tenderly and fell into a loving embrace.

Aaron relaxed against Eric's warm, fragile body. He had trusted that Eric knew him well enough to understand the risks he took because of his overwhelming compulsion to help people. That acceptance was one of the things he loved most about him.

What he could never tell Eric was that he didn't involve him in his plans anymore because he couldn't bear the thought of being the one that put him in the situation that got him killed. That was something that he couldn't let happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exploring the question of how Eric would act if pushed too far. 
> 
> Also, trying to reconcile for myself why Aaron, who feels guilt so intensely on the show, doesn't seem to feel guilty about being responsible for Eric's death in the comic.

**Author's Note:**

> Canon or not canon?  
> Boom, m'eh.
> 
> Just making stuff up.  
> It's what I do.


End file.
